You’re getting married, and everyone wants to celebrate with you. But here’s the thing—why split up the fun? Why should your partner miss out on your pre-wedding celebration while you miss theirs?
That’s where the Jack and Jill party comes in. It’s the co-ed answer to outdated traditions, bringing both of you together with all your favorite people in one room. No more separate nights, no more wondering what the other group is up to.
What started as a practical way for couples to celebrate together has become one of the most popular pre-wedding events. Planning one takes some thought, but with the right approach, you’ll create a night your friends and family will talk about for years.
Jack and Jill Planning Checklist and Guide
Planning a successful Jack and Jill party means thinking through details that matter while keeping the vibe relaxed and fun. Let’s walk through everything you need to know to pull off an event that feels like you.
1. Decide What Kind of Jack and Jill You Want
Before you send a single invitation or book a venue, you need to get clear on what this party actually is. Some couples use Jack and Jill fundraisers—guests buy tickets, play games, and enter raffles —to help offset wedding costs. Others host them as pure celebration, a chance to gather everyone for drinks and good times with no fundraising agenda attached.
The fundraising route works particularly well if you’re open about it from the start. Your guests want to support you, and when you frame it right, they’re happy to contribute while having a blast. Think about it like this: they’d probably spend money on your wedding gift anyway, so redirecting some of that toward a fun night out makes sense for everyone involved.
On the flip side, if the idea of asking for money feels uncomfortable, skip it entirely. Host a straightforward party where guests simply show up, celebrate, and enjoy themselves. There’s no rule saying you have to fundraise. What matters most is that the event feels authentic to who you are as a couple.
Your decision here shapes everything else, from your venue choice to how you word your invitations. Take time to talk it through with your partner. Be honest about your comfort level with fundraising and what you really want this night to be about.
2. Set Your Budget and Timeline
Money talk isn’t sexy, but it’s necessary. Sit down together and figure out what you can actually spend on this party without stressing yourselves out. If you’re fundraising, you might recoup some costs, but don’t count on that money until it’s in hand.
Start planning at least two to three months out. That gives you breathing room to book a good venue, send invitations with proper notice, and handle the inevitable hiccups that pop up. Less than two months and you’re rushing. More than four people might forget or double-book.
Break your budget into categories: venue, food, drinks, entertainment, decorations, and invitations. Most couples spend anywhere from $500 to $3,000, depending on guest count and how elaborate they go. A backyard party with kegs and a playlist costs way less than a rented hall with catered apps and a DJ.
Here’s something nobody tells you—the bar tab sneaks up fast. If you’re providing alcohol, that line item can easily eat half your budget. Consider a compromise: offer beer and wine but let guests buy their own cocktails. Or do a signature drink plus a cash bar for everything else.
3. Pick a Venue That Makes Sense
Your venue sets the entire tone. A rented hall says “big party,” while someone’s backyard says “laid-back hangout.” A brewery taproom splits the difference—casual but contained.
Think about your guest list size first. Cramming 80 people into a space meant for 50 makes everyone miserable. Better to have a slightly bigger space than pack everyone in like sardines. You want room for people to move around, form conversation clusters, maybe dance if the mood strikes.
Consider the practical stuff too. Does the venue have adequate parking? Is it accessible for anyone with mobility issues? What’s included in the rental fee? Some places throw in tables and chairs. Others charge extra for literally everything, and those costs add up faster than you’d think.
Weather matters if you’re going the outdoor route. Have a backup plan for rain, even if the forecast looks perfect. Spring and fall are gorgeous for outdoor parties, but they’re also unpredictable. A tent rental might seem excessive until a surprise thunderstorm rolls through.
Look at venues that already have the vibe you want. If you love craft beer, a local brewery might let you rent their event space. Sports fans might choose a sports bar’s private room. The right venue does half your decorating work for you.
4. Create a Guest List That Works
This guest list looks different from your wedding list, and that’s perfectly fine. You’re not obligated to invite every single wedding guest to your Jack and Jill. Focus on the people who’d actually enjoy this kind of party—your close friends, siblings, and cousins you actually hang out with.
Some couples invite their parents. Others specifically don’t. Both choices are valid. Think about whether Mom and Dad partying alongside your college roommates feels right or awkward. You know your family dynamics better than anyone.
The co-ed nature means you’re probably inviting more people than a traditional bachelor or bachelorette party. That’s part of the appeal, but it also means more mouths to feed and more space needed. Be realistic about what you can handle.
Send your invitations three to four weeks before the party. Paper invites work great for fundraising events since you can include ticket information. Digital invites through sites like Paperless Post or even Facebook events work fine for casual celebrations. Just make sure people know what to expect—dress code, whether it’s a surprise, if there’s a theme.
5. Plan Food That Satisfies Without Breaking the Bank
Nobody expects a five-course meal at a Jack and Jill, but people do need to eat. Especially if alcohol is flowing. Hungry, drunk guests are nobody’s idea of a good time.
Finger foods and appetizers hit the sweet spot. Think meatballs, sliders, wings, veggie trays, cheese, and crackers. Stuff people can grab while mingling. A taco bar is always a crowd-pleaser and relatively cheap to pull off. Set out shells, meat, toppings, and let people build their own.
Pizza never fails. Seriously. Order a bunch of pizzas and you’re golden. People might joke about it being basic, but watch how fast those boxes empty. Add a simple salad and you’ve got a meal.
If your venue allows outside catering, shop around. Local restaurants often do party platters for reasonable prices. A sub shop might do six-foot subs. A barbecue place could deliver trays of pulled pork and sides. You don’t need fancy—you need tasty and plentiful.
Timing matters here too. If your party runs from 7 to 11 PM, people expect real food. A 2 to 6 PM event can get away with lighter snacks. Match your food plan to your timeframe and let guests know what to expect so they can plan accordingly.
6. Sort Out the Drinks Situation
The bar question causes more planning stress than almost anything else. Open bar, cash bar, or something in between? Each option has trade-offs.
Full open bar is generous but expensive. You’re looking at hundreds of dollars minimum, possibly over a thousand depending on your crowd’s drinking habits. If you go this route, consider buying your own alcohol and hiring a bartender rather than paying venue bar prices. You’ll save a chunk of change.
A modified open bar gives you control. Offer beer, wine, and maybe one signature cocktail on your dime. Anything beyond that is cash. Most guests understand and appreciate what you’re providing. The cocktail enthusiasts won’t mind paying for their fancy drinks.
Cash bar only works better for certain crowds and contexts. If you’re throwing a fundraising Jack and Jill, guests already expect to spend money. A cash bar fits that framework. For a pure celebration party, covering at least basic drinks feels more hospitable.
Stock non-alcoholic options too. Not everyone drinks, whether by choice, for health reasons, or because they’re driving. Water, soda, juice, maybe some fancy mocktails. These don’t cost much but make a big difference for those guests.
One pro move: designate someone to monitor the bar situation throughout the night. Running out of ice or beer at 9 PM kills the vibe. Have backup supplies ready or know where the nearest store is.
7. Entertainment Keeps Things Moving
A party without entertainment is just people standing around talking. That’s fine for an hour, but then energy dips. You need something to keep the momentum going.
Music is non-negotiable. Whether you hire a DJ, create Spotify playlists, or have a musically-inclined friend run the aux cord, you need good tunes. Match the music to your crowd. If your friends span an age range from 25 to 65, you need a mix that keeps everyone happy. Start mellow, build energy, read the room.
Games work beautifully at Jack and Jill’s, especially fundraising ones. Cornhole tournaments, beer pong (if that’s your style), trivia about the couple. People love getting competitive, plus it gives them something to do besides drink and chat.
Raffles bring in money if you’re fundraising. Collect prizes from local businesses—restaurant gift cards, spa packages, sports tickets. Sell raffle tickets throughout the night and do drawings every hour or so. Keeps people engaged and builds excitement.
Photo opportunities matter more than you think. Set up a simple backdrop with props—silly hats, fake mustaches, signs with your names and wedding date. Guests will naturally gravitate there, and you’ll get tons of great candid shots. Way cheaper than a photo booth and just as fun.
Consider hiring a photographer for an hour or two if your budget allows. Your friends will take pictures, sure, but a pro captures moments you’d otherwise miss. Plus, you can actually enjoy your party instead of worrying about documentation.
8. Handle the Money Stuff Thoughtfully
If you’re fundraising, transparency is everything. Let guests know upfront that ticket sales help offset wedding costs. Most people appreciate the honesty and don’t mind contributing when they know where their money goes.
Price tickets reasonably. The $30 to $50 range per person works for most markets, adjusted up or down based on what’s included. Lower if it’s just admission with a cash bar. Higher if you’re providing open bar and substantial food. Look at what similar events in your area charge.
Multiple ticket tiers can work well. General admission at one price, VIP tickets at a higher price with extra perks like reserved seating or a special gift. Gives people options based on their budget and how much they want to contribute.
Sell tickets in advance rather than at the door when possible. You’ll have a better headcount for food and drink planning. Plus, money in hand ahead of time reduces day-of stress. Use Venmo, PayPal, or dedicated ticketing platforms to make purchasing easy.
Keep a money box or designate a person to handle cash if you’re doing raffles, games, or door sales. Nothing derails a party faster than confusion over money. Assign someone you trust completely to manage this—preferably not one of you two, so you can actually enjoy your party.
After the event, send a thank-you message to everyone who came. If you fundraised, you might mention how much you raised and express gratitude for their generosity. People like knowing their contribution made a difference.
9. Decorate Without Overdoing It
Decorations matter, but you’re not throwing a Pinterest-perfect wedding here. You want the space to look festive without spending hours on setup or draining your budget.
Keep it simple and impactful. A few key pieces make more difference than lots of little items scattered everywhere. Think big: a banner with your names, some balloon clusters, maybe string lights if the venue needs ambiance.
Color coordination helps things look intentional without much effort. Pick two or three colors and stick with them. Buy tablecloths, napkins, and plates in those shades. Instant cohesion with minimal thought required.
Photos of you two as a couple add personal touches without costing anything. Print some favorite shots, put them in cheap frames, or string them on a line with clothespins. Guests love seeing your relationship story, and it sparks conversations.
Don’t decorate every surface. Some venues look great with minimal additions. A rustic barn doesn’t need much. A sterile event hall needs more help. Assess your space and decorate accordingly. Sometimes less really is more, especially when you’re already stressing about 47 other details.
Recruit help for setup and teardown. Seriously. Don’t try to do this alone on the day of your party. Your wedding party, siblings, or close friends will help if you ask. Assign specific tasks to specific people. Makes the process faster and less chaotic.
10. Think Through the Small Details
Those tiny logistics you forget to plan are exactly what’ll bite you day of. Create a checklist and work through it methodically.
Parking and directions—send these with your invitation or in a follow-up message. Nothing frustrates guests more than circling lost. If parking is limited, mention nearby options or suggest carpooling.
Start time and end time need to be realistic. If you say 7 PM, expect people to show up anywhere between 6:45 and 7:30. Plan your timeline with buffer room. Food should be ready by 7:30, not right at 7. Give stragglers time to arrive before the main action starts.
Have a point person who’s not you handling problems. Your best friend, a sibling, your maid of honor—someone who can field questions, handle issues, and make decisions so you’re not constantly interrupted. This person needs your full trust and good judgment.
Think through weather contingencies if you’re outdoors. Tents, heaters, fans—whatever makes sense for your season and location. Have a Plan B venue ready if the weather looks truly terrible.
Create a day-of timeline for yourself and your helpers. When does setup start? When should food arrive? When does music begin? When are game prizes announced? A simple schedule keeps everyone on track and reduces last-minute scrambling.
Pack an emergency kit: pain relievers, band-aids, stain remover, safety pins, phone chargers, tape, and scissors. You probably won’t need any of it, but when you do, you’ll be grateful it’s there.
Wrapping Up
Your Jack and Jill party should feel like the best night out with all your favorite people—because that’s exactly what it is. Skip the stress and focus on what matters: celebrating this next chapter with the folks who matter most.
Planning takes work, but it doesn’t have to be complicated. Tackle each piece one at a time, ask for help when you need it, and remember why you’re doing this in the first place.
This party is about you, your partner, and the community supporting your marriage. Keep that front and center, and everything else falls into place.